Thank you for your interest in the art we display in our home. We have put a great deal of effort into curating our collection, hand selecting each piece not only for its aesthetic qualities, but also for the deeper meaning we are able to discern because of our extensive and almost supernatural understanding of art. We realize that not everyone is as gifted as we are at divining the true meaning behind an artist’s work, so we have prepared these statements to help others perceive as we do.
The Living Room Collection
Flamingo
This piece explores the nuanced and sometimes dangerous relationship between the color pink and the shape of a flamingo. The intense androgyny of the bird and the searing harsh realities of the natural world collide, forcing the viewer to confront their own apotemnophobia, the universal fear of limb loss through amputation.
Apollo 7 Launch
This photograph explores the unintended consequences of humanity’s desire to control the cosmos. The photographer has carefully framed the image to draw attention to the space shuttle launch, pulling the viewer’s eyes away from the majestic trees providing life-giving shade to the oblivious and unremarkable onlookers below. As the shuttle leaves the ground, the viewer is left with the twin sensations of shame and arousal.
Meteor Map
This piece contemplates what the world would look like if God were a paper shredder.
Buenos Aires Musicians
This piece asks the critical question, “Can people playing different instruments be friends, or are they destined to only be one anothers’ travel agents?” The purposefully blurred image resonates in a moment of beautiful discord so profound the viewer is left nonplussed, bemused, and with mild indigestion.
Waves
The artist was influenced by her own drowning, and this painting is the only known work to be both started and completed entirely after the artist’s death.
Mountain Climber
The unexpected combination of colors, lines, shapes, forms, light, ink, paper, imagination, air, time, ennui, emotional lyricism, scent-knowledge, and intuitive optimism culminate in an explosion of unparalleled magiciancraft that can only be described as mountaintop-y.
The Cathedrals of Art
The artist’s subjects are attending some kind of party, and the viewer’s eye is drawn towards the amusing details as they scan the piece for signs of Waldo’s telltale striped clothing. Despite the unceasing whimsy, the viewer cannot help but experience a deep sense of dread, as if the unnoticing guests are about to be rocked by a deadly earthquake or fall victim to a sudden, violent regime change.
Piano
This powerful statement on objecthood invites the viewer into a narrative of their own making. The artist was interested in the auditory limits of still photography, and wanted to force a reconciliation between the co-existing states of “music” and “un-music” (or “non-music”). Some observers have found they are unable to ever again hear the note middle C after viewing this piece.
Rabbit in Grass
This cunicular dreamscape showcases the artist’s sincere belief in the existence of colors, as well as their hermetic ability to render delicious images, just as a food-artist renders animal fat for, say, a rabbit pie.
Taurus
The artist was a self-taught astrologer and amateur matador whose star chart accurately predicted his own goring by a Pisces bull with Gemini rising.
Elephant
This piece memorializes a remarkable moment in the career of noted elephant-architect Zolten the Pachyderm. The photographer was fortunate to capture this frame of Zolten at the unveiling of his most important architectural feat, the elephant sanctuary at the Budapest Zoo, just before he entered it for the first time. It was also the last time, as Zolten spent the last years of his life in captivity, trapped within the building of his own design.
Calm Water
The artist explores their lifelong obsession with pretentiousness, bringing forth a profoundly moving study of spirituality, foreboding, phenomena, and other things.
Lady in White
What starts out as a commentary on the connection between one’s ability to experience joy and one’s ability to tempt ghosts with feigned disinterest soon devolves into an elegy for Eleanor Roosevelt, leaving only a sense of melancholy and the dream of a new yesterday for tomorrow’s future death.
Women in the Galleon
This piece invites the viewer to seek their own liberation from the observed and theoretical limits of corporeality. As the viewer climbs ever higher into their own mind-carnival, most will experience pressure, tightness, pain, or a squeezing or aching sensation in their chest or arms that may spread to their neck, jaw or back; nausea, indigestion, heartburn or abdominal pain; shortness of breath; cold sweats; fatigue; or lightheadedness or sudden dizziness. This is completely normal and extremely artistic.